Stand With Conviction! (you know?)

I love this!

And Who Am I? (…)

Over the last several months, my wife has settled into her role as interim associate pastor at our church, and I’ve discovered something very quickly: beyond the fact that she’s a brilliant, articulate classroom lecturer at seminary, she also happens to be a dynamic, passionate, and gifted preacher.

I guess it’s ironic, as I remember her words to me just before we got married: “Peter, I’m not going to be a pastor’s wife.”  Ha!  How the tables turn…

Jen wasn’t saying she wouldn’t support me in ministry if that’s how I felt led, or that I couldn’t be a pastor – after all, for those of you who remember, we rescheduled our wedding day so I could take my first class at George Fox Seminary, guest lectured by Brian D. McLaren.  That’s not exactly a lack of support  (it was years later that she enrolled in seminary, herself).  Rather, she wasn’t interested in playing the traditional, highly-gendered “role” of pastor’s wife… I guess that must mean wearing an apron, baking cookies, smiling politely and looking pious-and-pretty while standing behind her husband.  And I’m glad she didn’t want that role.  I confess, there was a time in my life — 10+ years ago, to be sure — where I probably was looking for something like that.  I feel ashamed of it now.

So as I sit in the pew with my wife at the pulpit, wearing her white vestments, I feel a deep sense of pride and awe at her natural abilities.  But I confess, narcissist that I am, to struggling a bit with what it means for my own identity.  I’m used to being the center of attention, damn it! I’m scheduled to guest-preach in a month or so — my first time at this church.  At prior churches we’ve attended, I was always the go-to for guest-preaching, and now I imagine what Jen must have felt like, not being asked, and having the natural gifts that she does.  I took a lot for granted.  I suppose I took her for granted.

When Jen first began attending George Fox, it was three years after I started there, so she was “Peter’s wife” for awhile, but as a full time student, she quickly developed relationships and a sense of community I could not with my half-time, evenings-only status.  For the last three years, I have learned what it means to be “Jen’s husband,” and it’s been both humbling and (I think) truly healthy for me.  In the same way, I’m learning to swallow my sometimes massive pride and help out with children’s ministry at church, teaching Sunday School or selling bags of coffee beans before the service.  It isn’t glamorous, but these may be exactly the lessons I’ve needed for a very long time.

If I can accommodate NOT being the center of attention, and truly integrate some kind of servanthood or humility or loving support into my psyche, this “metamorphosis” will be the best thing that could happen to me.  Because sooner or later, every “small town celebrity” ends up wondering why they didn’t “make it big.”

I’ve told you before: I once wanted to be a famous actor.  I got a gig in a Lifetime Original Movie in college.  Did I tell you that?  Then I wanted to be a famous writer.  I made friends with Leonard Sweet.  Did I tell you that?

But I still work a full time job, and I still live in small-town Oregon, and I like this life.  There’s something stepping out of the “limelight” (or off of the pulpit) has to teach me, and I think it’s very good.  And in those rare occasions when I do step back up to offer a guest-sermon, or get an article published, I pray I don’t find my identity there.

On Ongoing Blogging… (and mentorship, and inspiration, and…)

I have to confess (I guess it’s pretty obvious) that I’ve lost a lot of my momentum in blogging over the last several months.

When I first started this blog back in late 2004, it was one of two blogs, simultaneous with one called “WorldSpeak,” where I wrote about encounters with Christianity’s various manifestations in popular and often secular culture. By 2008, I found I couldn’t maintain two blogs at once, so I let WorldSpeak die and focused on EmergingChristian. In 2010 I hit 500 posts, which was a big feat after a fairly slow start.

But life happens: seminary and full time work and… perhaps disappointment: in years past I encountered too many “would-be mentors” who seemed to care about not only my development as a writer and provocateur, but as a disciple of Christ and as a young friend open to guidance.  But instead, time after time, when I couldn’t jump through the hoops to meet their professional or ministry needs, they seemed to fade quickly away.  Maybe it’s selfish to expect mentorship to be about my own development, and I’ve got no qualms about hard work, but it’s disappointing to encounter too many people who seemed interested in me, who were perhaps more focused on fulfilling their own endeavors through me.  But maybe I’m just a narcissist.  I don’t think I feel upset about it anymore, although it’s taken me several years to work out… but I have a nagging sense of disappointment, and a lot more cynicism than I started with.  I have some great friends in the industry now who remain huge encouragements, and who continue to help me find opportunities to get my writing out there, but real genuine mentorship?  Is it out there?  I don’t know.  Maybe that’s just an inhumanly tall order…

The other difficult aspect of continuing a long-term blog is finding fresh material.  Perhaps it’s simply chronic writer’s block, but I can’t help feeling like my last few dozen posts have rehashed the same ideas, or the same rants, or the same political/social observations.

The reality is, I don’t want a new kind of Christianity.  A few months ago I joined the United Church of Christ, and I love the combination of mainline liturgy and old-school liberalism.  I don’t want the church to be more “hip.”  Worrying about being “hip” is what got us into all this attractional, pop-Evangelical trouble in the first place.  If winning people over is our modus operandi, instead of doing what we’re deeply convicted is true and right, we’re bound to sell out again and again.

What’s all this mean for this website?

I’m not giving up on the blog — I’m not going to stop blogging.  But there are so many reasons why my priorities are changing, and my passions for “transforming the church” have hit a different kind of wall.  I still feel passionate, but I’m not so arrogant as to think I’m smart enough to “re-dream” a brand new way of “being the church.”  I just want us to be a better old kind of church.

U.S. Homeland as a Battleground? Goodbye Civil Rights…

Shocking that this comes from Fox Business News, but it’s incredibly important to be aware of how our Civil Rights are being infringed on…

And Keith Olbermann weighs in…

Video: Rick Perry’s War On LGBTQ (in case you missed it)

Awesome follow up from Jesus Christ:

A Poem: Porches II…

Porches II
Virginia Hamilton Adair

All over our U.S. the porches were dying.
The porch swing and the rocking chair moved to the village dump.
The floorboards trembled, and the steps creaked.
For a couple of decades a new light burned in the parlor,
the family sitting there silent in front of the box,
voices and music squawking mysteriously from far places
into the dim-lit room.  Conversation was hushed.

In the next two decades, a window in the box
flashed unbelievable pictures into the room.
Strangers guffawed and howled with laughter.
Shots rang out, people died in front of our eyes.
We learned not to care, drinking Coca-Cola from bottles,
spilling popcorn into the sofa.

A highway came past the house with its deserted porch
and no one noticed.  The children wandered off to rob houses
a few blocks away, not out of need, but simple boredom.
No more family games or read-alouds.

Grandparents sometimes pulled their chairs outside
hoping neighbors would stop in.
They might even drag out an extra chair or two;
Still no one came, not even to borrow something.
But it was hard to talk with the TV at their backs,
the traffic screeching by in front, the rest of the neighborhood
on relief, or in rest homes and reformatories.

The old porch is removed, and the grandparents with it.
So long, friends, neighbors, passersby.

Dangerously Reasonable Radio… Careful While You Drive!

I had an unnerving experience not long ago.  I was driving in the car and flipping through AM stations, as the local liberal talk station has recently been giving me reception trouble (probably resulting in greater mental and emotional well-being).  I stopped on an unfamiliar number on the dial, to a (surprisingly) unrecognizable voice.

He was decrying racism and anti-Semitism, and had a caller on the show who was blaming “the Jews” for everything wrong in the country, particularly the financial meltdown.  The host ripped into him, citing what was wrong with people like him, telling him that The Protocols of the Elders of Zion was trash, and citing several books for him to read to correct his racist ideology.

The man continued with his diatribe, saying, “I went to Occupy Wall Street because I’m angry,” and the host said, “Of course you did,” and cut him off.  I didn’t think much of it, because I assumed he meant he was a rabble-rouser going where he didn’t belong.  The host then talked a bit about economic injustice, everyday Americans facing hardship, and why America is so desperate for change.  He was articulate, intelligent and sympathetic.

Then I noticed something: he made several spiritual-sounding statements.

“I pray you hear me…”

“I believe, my brothers and sisters, that we can make a difference.  But we have to take responsibility.  We have to act…”

I was shocked.  Had I found a liberal/socially progressive Christian radio host?  That’s almost what this sounded like.  ”Thom Hartmann, M.Div” or something.  I glanced at the dial again.  What was I listening to?

He referenced back to the previous caller: “We let callers like that last one on – we let them speak – because we don’t burn books here.  And you need to hear people like that, you need to know they’re out there, because they are DANGEROUS.”

I was nodding my head, ready to put this new station on a pre-saved button.  He had just given one more prayerful exhortation – not preachy, not bible-thumping, but the kind of broad, ecumenical appeal to faith and action I can get behind.  Suddenly, the program went to commercial…

“YOU’RE LISTENING TO GLENN BECK!”

Sweet Lord!?  What have I done?! I swear I almost swerved off the road.

How was I taken so off guard by the poster boy for ultra-right, neo-con, Tea Party fundamentalism?  Therein lies my lesson: I, like so many, underestimate the intelligence, and the capacity for charisma these pundits carry.  It’s a dangerous arrogance (and laziness) on my part.  Watching the current panel of Republican candidates, it’s not hard to understand why.  I see no dynamism, nothing significantly breaking the groupthink mentality.  And I have to confess that 100% of my familiarity with Glenn Beck has been based on The Daily Show, The Colbert Report and MSNBC.  It’s no wonder I didn’t recognize his voice.

It also makes me more aware of why good, well-intentioned people keep listening to a man with a worldview like Glenn Beck’s.  They hear daily what I heard for 15 minutes… and it’s not the caricature.  He’s capable of sounding reasonable, thoughtful, even fair-minded and compassionate.  Which makes him all the more dangerous, because then people tolerate him — make allowance for him — when he inserts things like this:

“This president I think has exposed himself over and over again as a guy who has a deep-seated hatred for white people or the white culture….I’m not saying he doesn’t like white people, I’m saying he has a problem. This guy is, I believe, a racist.”

And…

“I have been nervous about this interview with you because what I feel like saying is, ‘Sir, prove to me that you are not working with our enemies. … And I know you’re not. I’m not accusing you of being an enemy, but that’s the way I feel, and I think a lot of Americans will feel that way.” –interviewing Rep. Keith Ellison (D-MN), the first Muslim U.S. congressman, Glen Beck’s show on CNN’s Headline News, Nov. 14, 2006

And…

“So here you have Barack Obama going in and spending the money on embryonic stem cell research. … Eugenics. In case you don’t know what Eugenics led us to: the Final Solution. A master race! A perfect person. … The stuff that we are facing is absolutely frightening.”

All that to say, I guess I was a little humbled that this man is more than scary talking points.  He’s capable of something far worse: sounding reasonable.

Occupy Portland

Last week I visited the Occupy Portland camp.  After donating money online, I wanted to see firsthand what was actually happening up there…

I was kind of amazed at the organization that seemed to be there, as I walked through the camps – two city blocks separated by a street between them.  A sidewalk dissected each block and created a main pathway between all the tents.  As I walked through with a friend, what we first noticed was that nearly every tent along the path had a sign on it, signaling some specific purpose: free counseling, free medical clinic… there were several tents with whiteboards outside, listing workshop schedules: “5:00pm, The History of Nonviolent Protest.  7:00pm, Capitalism and Corporate Greed.”  There was a tent with signs outside promoting a lecture on white privilege, with literature explaining what white privilege actually meant.  There was a community garden, an artists square with workshop and display area… this was impressive.

There was a man pacing back and forth between people as they passed, yelling: “If you NEED a CIGARETTE, I HAVE a CIGARETTE!  …If you HAVE a CIGARETTE, I NEED a CIGARETTE!”  He had a can with cigarettes in it, and he was simultaneously passing them out, and taking “donations.”

I came across this quotation in the midst of all the Occupy dialogue:

“First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.”
- Gandhi

“The Massage” – Remixed (?)

I’m playing with the idea of a spoof on The Message.

The Massage: A Satirical, Postmodern “Relaxation” of the Good Book.

I think Eugene Peterson’s retelling of the biblical narrative, while well-intentioned, is too-often an oversimplification of much more complex source material.  It’s also full of laughable (yes, also well intentioned) idioms that were out of vogue before his translations were ever published.

Moreover, Scripture itself is full of all sorts of problematic texts.  Spong calls these the “sins of Scripture.”   Phyllis Bird refers to “Missing Persons and Mistaken Identities” throughout the canon.  The marginalization of women, as well as racial and sexual minorities are constant themes throughout the Bible.

And science?  Well that’s just it: it’s so silly to ask an ancient collection of texts to support modern constructs that hadn’t even been fathomed yet: gravity?  Time and space?  Spherical earth?  Evolution?   C’mon.

So if Eugene Peterson can “modernize” the Bible with “hip” Baby-Boomer-relevant language, why can’t we have some fun playing with scripture from a satirical, liberal, postmodern vantage?

Relax, that’s what a massage is all about…

IS Jesus “With” the 99%?

There’s a progressive Christian web campaign called FaithfulAmerica.org that I tend to strongly support.  However, a recent campaign gave me pause:

Here’s the e-mail I sent them:

I just wanted to send a quick note.  In general I am a big supporter of FaithfulAmerica.org.  Ideologically, I’m a progressive liberal who cares about justice, equality and ecology.  But I want you to know I am uncomfortable with your most recent pitch, “Jesus Is With the 99%.”  I understand the ethos behind it.  Jesus certainly did not align with the powerful and wealthy.  But I am uneasy with the implication here that Jesus would align with the “majority.”  That’s a pretty broad statement.  There are huge problems with the too often racist, homophobic, consumptive veins and pockets comprising the mass culture of the American middle class, no matter how unfairly we’ve been treated economically.  The tyranny of the 1% does not excuse the sins of the 99%, so while Jesus is with us all, I think it’s dangerous and irresponsible to suggest that Jesus has a preferential option for the vast majority of American citizens.

I am a supporter of the Occupy movement, but this is the danger of using language that identifies the vast majority of society as part of it.  And there is an even greater danger in imparting “holy” rhetoric upon such a broad and disparate swath of individuals.