The Chicken or the Egg?
Posted: July 19th, 2011 | Author: Peter | Filed under: Uncategorized | 3 Comments »We Christians love to talk about what wretched sinners we are or were before conversion, and what wretched sinners we would be if not for the grace of God. And that may be true. I’m pretty wretched despite God’s grace. But I’m often left wondering: how bad would I actually be without God? I mean… I’m not the world’s greatest guy. I suffer from a touch of narcissism (it comes in waves) and I can have a temper now and then, and I can certainly be selfish, reactionary, whatever else… but I’m also not such a bad guy either. Christians don’t like saying that. Especially those from Reformed camps. Martin Luther taught us “Amazing Grace… that saved a wretch like me.” True ‘wormliness.’ And maybe it’s just more narcissism, or perhaps spiritual deception, but I have to say: I don’t think I’m all that terrible of a guy. And so that leads me to wonder, am I not all that terrible of a guy because of Christ in me, or because this is the personality I was born with, and my parents raised me with certain expectations for social propriety?
In Christianity, we love a good conversion testimony, but I don’t have one. I grew up in this. I can’t tell you that it’s God who made me more or less good. Only that I am pretty sure God loves me, and that’s reassuring.
What worries me (about the lifeblood and future of the church) is how many people I have known in my life who are not religious (certainly not Christian) who are much kinder, much more gracious, and even at times much more joyful than Christian folks. It sort of undermines the 2+2=Jesus equation so many of us were spoon-fed.
Are you good or bad? Are you sure? Is it you, or God? Are you sure?
A very thought provoking post. I sometimes have lapses in my faith and turn from God, and I have found that whenever I do this my relationships suffer. My attitude becomes very sarcastic and negative, and my life just is not the same.
I like to say that I am basically a decent person no matter what, but my expierences are making me doubt that now. Recently I had a crisis in faith, so this is still fresh in my mind.
Thanks,
Steve.
I often wonder this, too. I know that I could never be holy on my own (believe me, I tried!). But by human standards, I'm a pretty nice guy, except for the few times when I get crabby because I didn't get what I want.
Great post! I hate the 'wormliness' attitudes of Christians towards their pre-saved selves. What does it say to all our 'unsaved' friends? You're worms!
To go a little deeper, I'm not sure that the saving love of God is really about making us nice people. I think there is something much more important at work, which is pushing us in the direction of a radical freedom. I've just posted about that here: http://blog.peaceandtruth.com/2011/07/how-to-be-f...